Holidays can be stressful, and adding a misunderstood, food-related autoimmune condition like celiac disease into the mix can make them even more challenging.
Let’s have a chat.
I’ve been thinking about the holiday season already because this year will be different for me: it’s my first gluten-free holiday season. That might sound minor, but it feels significant. Combining celiac disease with holiday gatherings brings up complicated emotions, and I want to explain why.
Food traditions shape so much of our lives, which makes celiac disease as much an emotional challenge as a physical one.
I’ve largely adjusted to a gluten-free diet in daily life—on a day-to-day basis it isn’t a constant thought. But family functions and social gatherings are another story.
It’s easy to feel out of place and even depressed. Think about it:
- You can’t have the special foods that evoke comfort and memories.
- You may feel like the odd person out, watching others enjoy foods you used to love.
- Well-meaning friends and family might say, “just don’t eat the bun,” or “there’ll be something you can have,” which can feel dismissive.
I don’t expect people to stop eating or serving gluten, and I don’t want pity. Still, when everyone shares a meal I can’t join in, especially at a holiday, it can make me feel invisible. It feels awkward, like being left out of a tribe I once belonged to—FOMO at its worst.
It becomes harder when those closest to you don’t fully understand the condition or the emotional impact. It’s not just about food; it’s about memories, inclusion, and being understood.
It’s not only about the food; it’s about inclusion and the need to feel understood.
I genuinely want you to enjoy your cake. I’m happy you’re enjoying it, but watching you eat that cake can still make me feel sad—even if I have no desire to eat it myself.
Or consider going to a restaurant: I want to spend time with loved ones, but if there’s literally nothing safe for me to eat, what do I do? Stay home alone or sit through a meal watching everyone else eat? Those situations are complicated and emotional.
There’s also the trust factor. I often don’t trust others to prepare food for me unless they clearly understand celiac disease and are transparent about ingredients and preparation. It may sound extreme, but even a crumb of gluten triggers my immune system to attack my own body. I once lived with undiagnosed reactions and the long-term damage that followed, and I don’t want to go back to that. So being cautious isn’t being dramatic—it’s self-protection.
It still feels odd that after so many years I finally know what’s causing my symptoms. I know gluten harms me, yet it’s a common ingredient in so many foods. It can feel strange to see others enjoying a food that is toxic to me, and to feed my children foods I can’t eat myself. Why is gluten in everything? It’s frustrating.
But here’s the good news: it will be okay.
After all that, I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who goes out of their way to accommodate me. I know I can be demanding and that it isn’t always easy to know what to do. Every effort matters more than you know.
- When you tell me what you’re making or what is in a dish, I appreciate it.
- Every small step you take to help me know what I’m eating—thank you.
- Your efforts to prevent cross-contamination are invaluable.
- When you buy special ingredients or prepare something safe for me, that kindness means the world.
I understand it can cost more time or money, and I don’t take that for granted. Those actions help ease the difficult feelings that sometimes arise at gatherings. I know it’s rarely perfect, and that’s okay. In the end, it’s just food—I will celebrate with cake another day, maybe just not today.
Do you have celiac disease? How do you handle holidays, birthdays, and other gatherings? Do you bring your own food, ask the host about the menu, or offer to help? If you love someone who is gluten-free, how do you accommodate their needs? Do you consult them about the menu or prepare alternatives?
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments.
